It’s not easy being a Life Coach.
Last week, during one of the warm afternoons of our Indian summer, seated in my study room, was seeking respite through my age-old standing fan, as it kept turning sideways. throwing warm but balmy air.
I sat there engrossed working on a pending assignment, which I couldn’t complete on time due to a very tight and hectic schedule I’m experiencing these days, amidst my work in my distraction time which usually recurs every 60 seconds, my eyes fell on a timetable I usually maintain to monitor my spend of time, and also to identify time wasters in the daily schedule .
After a quick glimpse, I realized in the past one month, after SHEROES chose me as a champion, LinkedIn selected my profile for career advice, and Quora which I have chosen on my own to build my brand, most of my time was being spent on these platforms ,and besides the coaching session the next biggest contributor to my hectic schedule was the list of questions that I was answering every day on these respective platforms.
There were all kinds of questions, some too silly to just simply laugh it off, while some too serious which kept me thinking for hours and hours before I could frame a better response.
The time schedule also gave me an insight that I was spending 2 hours every single day, only answering queries mostly Life advice and for people from every walk of life.
Even though as a coach, we seldom advise, but as an expert as a mentor, it is imperative for us to answer it responsibly.Hence, I have to rake my mind every time before submitting a response.
Few queries just like coaching sessions also make you experience compassion fatigue, and sometime you will find yourself caught between ethical dilemmas and practical solutions. But, despite the challenges both of time and context, it is a great learning experience, it gives me better and deeper insights about people issues.
Besides Individuals personas, lifestyle, Life Coaching Sessions also offers a view of a rapidly changing ethos of Indian society, a social set up which is already a way to complex due to its widely diverse ethnic groups, customs, and beliefs.
In one of the case, a young girl of 22 approached me, she was an educated married lady and hailed from a well to do family, and in her problem list, she had her in-laws, who were practicing black magic and witchcraft, to take complete control of her mind, when she narrated to me in detail the entire experience seeking an appropriate approach to adopt, it took me 2 days to get back to her with an appropriate response .
This was not a case of wrong or right beliefs systems, but of two belief systems conflicting with each other, former using divine powers while latter resorting to satanism.
Be that as it may!
I always thought Coaching comes naturally to me and it would be something I could excel in a very short span of time, but once I got into my listening sessions, and the clients begin to share their stories, it showcased complexities of cluttered minds, entangled in an incorrect approach and if we take a closer look, most of these people were not some special breed or species but are ordinary people just like you from everyday walk of life, lost in the conundrum of life due to just a few wrong turns .
I’m learning every day, and my lessons learned are far too many, however, a condensed form of my lessons learned are listed here for my readers :
Objective: The goal of this list is to assist you to modify or improve your approach to Life
when you encounter issues whether big or small.
Reflect: Most of us caught up in a confused state of mind are those, who don’t often reflect, this means we mostly live in the here and now and seldom pay attention to the (Why’s) behind the issue both inwardly and outwardly. Practice reflecting, make it a daily habit and you will change the way you perceive your problems.
Shortcuts: There are no shortcuts to problem solving, every issue need to undergo a cycle of diagnosis, discovery, and solution to arrive at the desired result.
Answer: A mere response an answer to a query by an expert, consultant, or a coach does not guarantee success, positive outcome or a foolproof plan, one has to follow a series of sincere steps to arrive at an effective solution.
Connected: pay attention to the fact that everything is relative and connected, nothing exists in isolation.So next time you are reflecting or contemplating on a problem or issue, connect the dots to understand it “Holistically” and better.
Context: it is mandatory to understand the context of an issue, when you encounter one in your life, ensure you have probed enough and have gathered required details before you jump to a conclusion
Time: Time is always of the essence, and that time creates the biggest impact both for negative and positive outcomes, both excitement and sorrows die down with a passage of time, so, remember this mantra next time when you are facing a crisis or huge success, both shall pass away with time!
Impermanence: Most of our problems are rooted in our emotions and our lack of using them intelligently, but the good part is just like time, emotions are also impermanent in nature and the equations keep shifting with age, mood, circumstance, event, sometimes even weather.Learn to label and use your emotions intelligently and remember they don’t last forever.
Conclusion -These are some of my lessons learned based on my ongoing experiences, going with what the wise suggest, it is always better to learn from others experiences, than our own, because we cannot be experiencing everything all by ourselves.
Hopefully, my lessons learned will guide you in modifying your approach
Until next time …………………….
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