Self-awareness by its “literal meaning could mean conscious knowledge of one’s own character and feelings”
But as simple as it may sound, what we most fail to understand is that most of us have little of it, and are in constant need to work to develop and enhance it.
To some the very idea of being self-aware may sound cheesy or philosophical after all the popular belief is, people who carry out an in-depth view of self are either those with a bent towards spirituality or someone very serious thinker of reality or existence.
Be that as it may.
Let me share with you today a very interesting case, which can explain the need for self-awareness and its impact when we lack thereof.
Mr. C was a middle-aged man, married for 21 long years ,had no children, but he enjoyed his work at the farm and never paid much attention to the need of progeny many long for, and then in the winter of last year, his younger brother succumbed to a deadly disease leaving behind his children in Mr. C’s care .
Given the grave situation, Mr. C was very considerate about his brother’s children, and took them under his care, leaving no room for any carelessness. He took utmost care of being a good guardian.
But being a methodical person with a slight temper,he often imposed discipline on the kids ,he believed that growing years in kids is the best time to imbibe all the values and therefore he at times even went a step further in his manners, to ensure the kids learn discipline, sometimes even at the expense of their freedom and happiness.
While he always thought to himself that he had adopted the best ways to raise the kids and that they would one day turn into a gentleman that he was.
Many years passed by and the kids no longer remain, kids, they all grew up into young adults, brash, arrogant and high headed, there were no element or trace of discipline that Mr. C envisioned in them, on the contrary, they grew the complete opposite of his dream vision.
and later when the young boys got an opportunity to leave him behind on the farm, on the pretext of job opportunities they just flew away one by one with no plans to return.
Today Mr.C, who has now grown a bit old, sit back and constantly ask himself, where did he go wrong and that what he did was with all considerations and good intentions, yet what he gained was a bunch of nephews who were waiting to leave him behind at the next possible opportunity they got ,and he was left again all alone to live by himself.
If you are wondering what I just shared is a para from a novel or a story, it is not so, it is a real case in which the client reached out to me when he was on a verge of collapse.
My first conversation with Mr. C was a very emotional one, both for me and him ,I was moved by his naivety and blind spots which kept him unaware of his own self ,and as a result most often his decisions and actions were mired by an unaware self, while he continued to journey in the dark.
The most common issues he later encountered were as follows:
1. His attempt to discipline the kids without paying any attention to their age and temperament gained more friction and distant with them
2. His own temper, high pitch, and anger made a villain out of him, for not just his nephews even to his friends and community which considered his disciplinary approach a platform to vent out his frustration piled up due to the lonely life he had been living
3. At times he even fail to understand ,how his low tolerance level and constant correction irked others
That was Mr.C for you, now in a much better space, as he continues to encounter and learn more about his (self) with me in his coaching sessions
There are more intrinsic details to this case, what I shared is just one tiny part of a highly complex case, my intent here is to bring my readers the web that we may get caught in, and most that which stems from lack of self-awareness.
And that working on self-awareness may sound trivial, but an absence of this key quality can hamper one’s personal growth to a very large extent, even impacting those around us.
Here are few key points, think over it and practice it if possible
Tips to be more aware of Self ;
1.Set aside time to reflect, when you find yourself often in a “reactive” mode than responding
2. When you constantly get feedback, especially from your closed loved ones and well-wishers, pay attention, think over it. Don’t ignore.
3. Practice being mindful about your feelings and emotions, and it just begins with asking a simple “Why”I feel the way I feel.
Self-awareness is a lifelong process, however, one can take it up at significant milestone years of life to ensure we don’t just live and pass away, rather are more aware of one’s self and one’s emotions, feelings, and behaviors assisting us to live a more meaningful life.
Happy Reading, and have a great time ahead
If you are interested in a coaching program similar to what Mr C is undergoign ,Do check out our latest coach program here