Can beliefs or change in one ,has power to bring in a profound change in our life , the answer to this complex question if to be given in a simple word will be a “Yes” . But a more important question we all need to reflect at some point in our life is where does beleifs come from ?
My article today ,is based on the question which I often try to problem solve with my clients ,especially those who want to overcome a particular self limiting beliefs.
The case and notes that I share today is from one of my coaching sessions ,in which I was working with my client for the longest duration , the coach sessions ran for 9 months .It was a complex cases of many issues deeply connected but entangled in the wrong place. However ,the approach applied assisted in arriving at feasible solutions and finally achieving the desired goals ,not exactly the way it was envisioned but almost very close to the result expected.
Belief as per the online dictionary is trust, faith, or confidence in (someone or something).
No matter who we are ,we all carry a belief system , including even atheist who also does ,except that it is an opposite to the popular belief.
Beliefs and values are part of our core system ,and we all hold it deep inside us ,the way these are shaped varies for each one of us ,but key common factors that make the building blocks of it in most cases remain the same.
- Environment we are exposed to in our childhood and growing years
- The belief system thought and passed on by our elders to us
- Friend circle
- Education system
- Early life experiences
- Our observations of behaviors ,especially of those who we considered our role models
- Belief system of those with whom we share a deep trusting relations (Example : Mentors ,Coaches , Parents or Grandparents)
Whenever we approach cases or try to problem solve issues related to belief system, it is required that we adapt an approach of systems thinking to arrive at better conclusion and feasible solutions.
1.To connect the dots ,we first need to understand ,that nothing is absolute and everything is connected at some level or the other .
2 .The Culture within which our client has grown up and also the culture he/she now pursues
3.A sneak peek into the important events in the life of our client ,both positive and negative which eventually had led to the onset of a particular belief.
In the case which I coached for a very long time , there were few sporadic episodes when I felt I and my client were heading nowhere,despite following the best tools,framework and process , I always felt there was something amiss , and one fine warm evening ,when I was trying hard to deduce what was missing from my notes on the case , is when I had my eureka moment . I found a book on “culture” and then read extensively ,particularly about my client’s cultural background which threw open many answers to the web of questions I was caught in.
At times we don’t realize the importance of subtle elements of our life which are playing a key role in shaping both our values and belief systems ,culture is one of it . A study of it can not only easily, explain “How” a particular concept is followed but the “Why” it is followed or believed.
There are no right or wrong answers to cultures ,and in some cases equally devoid of logic also, but still it makes a huge part of our everyday living.
My case was successfully closed,as my client achieved the desired goal.
Conclusion : some cases teaches us more than one can offer as a Coach , this was one of it ,which took me to the root cause but via a different route (culture study) . It is not always very easy to break a belief system,even if it is a self limiting belief ,but understanding the core factors behind it ,can help replacing the limiting beliefs to liberating truths .