Perils of not being Self aware

Meena, was new to the office ,and the way it operated ,she was extra careful ,trying to avoid all mistakes she had committed at her previous work place,for her it was another chance ,she got after a lot of struggle and efforts,finding a decent job in a tough economy is indeed a matter of luck especially in a country which is producing ONLY new graduates every year while the job markets dwindle and businesses fail.

She found her senior leader to be an extremely intelligent man,and was awe struck with his communication skills,dressing sense and down to earth behavior. Every meeting ,she carefully jotted notes and took every word of him as no less than a gospel,and in one such gathering when she saw her leader appreciating a particular employee for his kind behavior,helpful nature and strong technical expertise. Meena promised herself to work on herself so that she will soon be lauded in a similar manner

Straight out of a small firm, this office,people,leaders and colleagues to Meena were people from a different breed,she also at times felt inferior to them ,but equally lucky to have been associated with such people.

Once during a difficult work assignment , Meena struggled and when she felt she was in need of help, she approached the same colleague who had won accolades for his work and help , but to her surprise ,her request was turned down in a curt manner ,she was also reprimanded for not following the proper protocol of assistance ,having a response like this made Meena escalate and complained to higher authorities,because she knew ,asking help is no way a wrong act .

The results were as unusual as her colleague ,she was given feedback to correct her impulsive,immature and childlike behavior ,and also to improve on a lower grade she gained from her mid term performance reviews . The issue which was already complex now became a political game with Meena having no knowledge of what was going on in the background and parties involved .

The problem settled with time ,but Meena was a different person after having been through a new experience.Her transformation took place when she stopped playing a victim ,and hired a Coach , who helped her ,delve deep to understand her own self ,her blind spots ,and the impulsive behavior ,which often landed her in trouble .

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

Carl Gustav Jung

Summary of Meena’s learning’s from her Coaching program.

  1. Learn more about people,before jumping to conclusion
  2. To avoid feeling inferior and downplaying one’s own potential by mere comparison with those we not enough.
  3. Believing every word we hear and everything we see,may not always be true.
  4. Assuming help will come from those who display a show of good leadership ,one need to learn to differentiate between show off and genuineness.
  5. An inward view of oneself ,is a key step for a stronger base ,as one physically and mentally grow in life
  6. Acting on impulse is often a sign of deep disconnect we hold of our self ,because we fail to see the “why” behind it.
  7. Being more self aware ,assist in being more rooted to our purpose,know our priorities and plan a life with direction .

Conclusion : Stories like those of Meena are very common in a corporate setup , this one is no exception. My biggest takeaway from this case as a Coach is the fast growing need to equip the current young talent with life skills ,which can assist them maneuver the highs and lows of career ,making them more resilient leader ,but I also fear,how an absence of it may apparently lead to failed leaders in the making.

(c) 2020 Mehnaz Amjad

About the Author : Mehnaz Amjad MBA (HR),PMP,SHRM-SCP , is a certified Life Coach,Founder of Guide & Advice which offers Life Coaching & Training services to both individuals and organizations. Online : LinkedIn

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