Before anyone assume that this article is to garner any kind of sympathy, let me come straight to the point , it is not !
My this write up is for my readers ,to know and learn that rejection is as common as falling in love ,and it happens all the time and to all the people.
Those who are able to find a way out are far more successful than those who simply sulk ,feel victimized and continue to stay stuck in the vicious circle of self pity .
So,let’s learn to be realistic and more at peace with Life.
I had clients ,who I ended up speaking hours and hours ,listening attentively to their woes, then sincerely followed up to assist ,but they never hired me as a Coach nor for a second gave me any regards of the efforts gone into the whole experience .
On the other end , I had people ,whom I reached out seeking help to be coached by them .I was turned down ,but very politely ,citing reasons that I do not have the needed Coaching hours to my credit , I’m very new in the market , I’ve yet to reach a threshold as per them ,sometimes even indirectly conveyed that I might not be able to afford their fee!
Rejections are part of our Life ,and perhaps of everyone’s.
I also had some very funny experiences in my personal life, which I consider them very funny, because I was part of someone’s else proxy war within their self and ended up being rejected.
The story goes like this ….
After my college I had many alliances for marriage, out of this one of my father’s friend family visited us and had two handsome boys ,eligible bachelors of those times, I was never intrested in them nor even an idea crossed my mind that I may date or marry either any of them .
But every-time I met the family, i felt a weird vibes coming my way ,especially the mother who always was looking for reasons to keep me at bay, this was to an extent ,that in one of the common family function,she ignored me as if she had never known me .
This was observed by others also in the gathering and I became the topic of some hidden cold war going on between families, there was lot of gossip,and story telling that floated later on,giving enough feed to the gossip mongers . Finally ,just like all things come to an end this saga ended too , the boys went their ways and I mine.
Many moons later when I bumped into the same family in a shopping mall , I behaved like a weirdo ,very uncouth ,cold ,something very unlike me ,but here I wanted to convey that my disinterest still continues and it applies to everyone in the family till date .
If some people bring the best out in you , some does the opposite !
Conclusion : Next time if you find yourself, struggling ,all alone , people turning their backs or behaving in cold and strange ways , remember this
When nobody else celebrate you learn to celebrate yourself .When nobody else compliments you, then compliment yourself ,It is not up to other people to keep you encouraged ,It is up to you.Encouragement should come from inside .Dr.Daniel G.Amen (Amen Clinics)
My learning from my many rejections is
- It is all the people who said “No” to me actually made me in a way much smarter,better and independent
- People will continue to have an opinion of you,regardless of what state you or your life is ,so learn to IGNORE it
- Most people does not have the capacity nor the resources to help
- Our best resources is our “Own” #Self
- No rejection can define your “Self Worth”
(c)Mehnaz Amjad 2020
About the Author : Mehnaz Amjad MBA (HR),PMP,SHRM-SCP , is a certified Life Coach,Founder of Guide & Advice which offers Life Coaching & Training services to both individuals and organizations. Online : LinkedIn