Nima, a young girl in her early twenties came to me,when she found herself confused and in dire need to be Happy.
Our conversations were long ,because she had a lot to speak and share ,and I simply listened , sometimes the conversation went even way beyond 2 hours ,but it gave a glimpse of an innocent mind which was in search of happiness, and was trying everything to be happy.
The story goes like this…
One fine day ,on an occasion of a festival ,while everyone in the family were preparing to visit the nearby community gathering in the evening,Nima’s elder sister had a sudden cardiac arrest and she died on the spot ,she was 3 years older to Nima , the tragedy left the family in deep shock and a long period of grief , particularly the festive occasion which was no longer celebrated in the house for a very long time.
Nima, after demise of her sister, for the next 5 years, never got an opportunity to celebrate the festival joyfully ,on the contrary , every time during the festival, Nima would found most of her family members in a sad mood and a gloomy environment that enveloped the entire house, while she saw a contrast experience outside her house ,in the neighborhood among friends leaving her with mixed emotions and confused feelings.
Many years later , as time killed the intensity of the tragic event,the family once again began to celebrate it ,including Nima who actively took part, but somewhere had lost the concept of celebration ,and was inhibited with an unknown fear ,which she felt could not be articulated.
Key learnings from this case
- Our upbringing and growing years many a times holds a strong impact to the way we attach meaning to key aspects of Life.
- The mindset is a culmination of our beliefs and stories both learned and experienced
- Our environment plays a key role shaping us ,both mentally and emotionally
In case of Nina, her quest to define happiness was a result of distorted views ,and the meanings she attached to a festival which coincided with a tragic event.
She wanted to be joyous ,but feared it.
The meanings we attach to any thing,or event makes a huge difference,alter the meaning and you can completely shift the perspective,importance & relevance of it.Mehnaz Amjad ,Life Coach
During our Coaching sessions ,we together embarked on a journey and found the following :
- Assigning wrong meanings can result in incorrect perceptions and mindsets
- Our emotional are not permanent, regardless of how intense they could be
- To make our fears surface up ,we need to deep dive
- We need to deep dive ,inside us,to explore our capacities and limitations which can both either hinder or promote our personal growth
- We always have a choice, all of us, but only the courageous make that move.
Conclusion : Ask these 3 key questions to your “Self” and make that shift TODAY !
What meanings do you attach to key elements of your Life ?
Do you think the meanings attach are relevant and correct ? or they need to change ?
Did any of the meanings you had attach to a particular thing keeping you stuck ?
Answer it to yourself ,and feel free to write back to me if you like Nina want a correction to it.
(c)Mehnaz Amjad 2020
About the Author : Mehnaz Amjad MBA (HR),PMP,SHRM-SCP , is a certified Life Coach,Founder of Guide & Advice which offers Life Coaching & Training services to both individuals and organizations. Online : LinkedIn