Did you ever come across your own emotions and feelings and questioned yourself ,Why ?
Bill is a mid level manager in a reputed law firm,earning way above his peers,with family and dozens of friends ,his life is never dull,he himself is a happy go lucky fellow!
But when Bill decided to get coached, it was an incident that moved him and made him pose question to his own self.
Bill has lot of siblings and cousins among whom he grew up, he is the youngest ,most of his cousins are settled in different parts of the globe and they all keep in check and connect with each other via Whatsapp group, in one such instance, one of his cousins kept sharing pictures about his family, his new car, new garden and his latest collection from the art gallery . Though sharing things from our daily life is nothing new on social media,but coming from this very cousin,was making Bill feel furious ,and filled with envy.
Bill initially reacted normally and pretend with emoticons expressing his happiness which actually was not real.
This went on for a while and when the same sharing became a source of huge heated argument about show off ,was when Bill came to me for help.
He narrated the event with every detail possible,but could not justify why he felt envious,and was filled with hatred towards someone he had spent his childhood days and had the best of times .
We therefore decided to do a deep dive ,in which the following was divulged :-
1.Bill and his cousin were very close ,but in one tragic event ,his cousin lost his father and Bill’s father thus took the responsibility of his cousin’s family.
2.The cousin never liked the sympathy coming in from everywhere ,he hated his deceased father more than ever before for making them dependents on others.
3.His equation with Bill changed when some other cousin’s began to teased them about his father support to the family
4.Since Bill was the youngest , in one of regular boys fight ,the cousin took advantage and made his friends hit Bill real bad,he was bruised and wounded but more emotionally than physically.
5.Bill was deeply wronged and equally hurt by his cousin’s behavior and fail to understand the real motive behind the complex web of events and circumstances
Often times in our life ,we consider some relationships very close and sacred to us ,but with change in events and time ,the same relations holds the ability to either deeply hurt or deeply heal us.Mehnaz Amjad,Life Coach
In this given coaching case, time had healed many wounds and distance had soothe aching hearts ,but below the surface lies many unanswered questions ,feelings and repressed emotions ,pricking here and then as they surface up in the same spirit.
My coaching with Bill still continue on ,as we embark on a journey of self and a extensive program of Let go ,unburden and move ahead.I have used the technique of Let go ,several times in my Coaching,which entails the following.
- An effective method to identify the emotional burden being carried on from the past
- Understand the relationship of feelings to the context and its relevance in current time
- Then finally learning to let go ,and liberate oneself
Question for the reader
What do you want to Let go today ? & Why ?
(c)Mehnaz Amjad 2020
About the Author : Mehnaz Amjad MBA (HR),PMP,SHRM-SCP , is a certified Life Coach,Founder of Guide & Advice which offers Life Coaching & Training services to both individuals and organizations. Online : LinkedIn