How to bounce back from setbacks

african american woman standing in light room Photo by Alex Green on Pexels.com

I met her for the first time few months ago,when my domestic help after a 4 year service refused to work with us.

Let’s call her “Lakshmi” a very quintessential name in the Indian household ,she carried features of a south Indian ,and if you are aware of Indian ethnicity, it would be very easy to spot her in the crowd of many as someone from the south part of India.

The nose ring, the bunch of fresh flowers in the hairbun, no vermilion in the hair parting but a touch of red “KumKum” beneath her bindi on the forehead . Yellow feet dyed with turmeric paste , silver toe rings shining on the dark complexion.

Lakshmi ,an apt representation of Indian women, hard working ,submissive, altruistic and filled with unconditional love towards family ,comprising of men who lack even an iota of compassion for the magnitude of concern she held .

Her son suffered from a set of mental ailments ,which under the garb of illiteracy and lack of any knowledge on mental health, remain unaddressed ,finally the son succumbed to death after several futile attempt to kill himself in the past.

I met her today, as she resumed work, she fought back the flood of tears as she narrated the horrific way her son burnt himself ,while her husband remained oblivious to her and the son’s plight, far away in the native town.

She alone fought tooth and nail, to hold the family from collapsing.

I simply ,wondered at the human capacity to fight such major setbacks, regardless of how much it can ripped people apart.

As a resilient and mindset coach ,while I help my clients ways to build resilience ,setback-the term, is not new for me. I have had my good share of it.

But meeting her today, and a brief conversation with her ,gave me a fresh perspective and few wise lessons to learn from

  1. Time is the best healer ,therefore every thing should be given its due time, the stress begins when we want instant results
  2. Acceptance of reality ,is the key to peace of mind. The struggle continues when we fight reality.
  3. Life goes on ,regardless of what strikes ,and however good or bad it is.
  4. A lot always will lie beyond our control ,but what’s within our control should be evaluated and deal with utmost care.
  5. We all have the ability to bounce back from failures, disappointments ,complications and problems of life ,provided we develop a “Will” to do so

People like “Lakshmi are best examples of resilience ,so while I coach and assist many , the little time I spent with her , I stood in complete awe of the tenacity of human soul to bounce back. It surprised me ,but also answered the infinite questions I ask myself when I go through a tough time . A brief meeting taught me so much, sharing the same with you through this post, for it may end up helping someone like me.

Mehnaz Amjad

c)Mehnaz Amjad 2021

About the Author : Mehnaz Amjad  is a certified Life Coach, a CBT Practitioner ,Founder of Guide & Advice which offers Life Coaching services to both individuals and organizations. Online : LinkedIn

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