Every 1st of Muharram, I would think as the new year begins, what’s store in for me?
With the pandemic, climate change, political tensions,& ever-changing technology, these days ,any “New” is filled with ambiguity & uncertainty, almost changing the concept of new in itself.
The last year that went by made me experience many new realities ,with new lessons and new learnings.
To summarize, From last to this year most of my time was spent in and out of hospitals ,battling anxiety, stress ,oscillating between hope and despair, but regardless of my emotional upheavals, my aunt (maternal) , my father and my uncle (paternal) are no longer with me. None succumbed to COVID though , but to their own respective destinies.
Beyond my house, several others in my extended family , also lost many of their loved ones.
So, while the new year is here again , as I move into another New Hijri Year of 1443, sat back , reflecting with a mixed feelings of hope and sadness .
On the surface it seems nothing new, since the world is reeling under pandemic, loosing people was a normal scenario anyone could have predicted, but besides the personal loss that gripped many families across India and the world , if one reflects there are profound lessons in this entire life changing experience.
I share my lesson, you can take as much as you want from it, or simply add your own to it.
Why these lessons ?
Because we all exist in a very interesting time phase ,which holds a lot to learn and pass it on to the next generation, which in future may perhaps need these lessons to maneuver through the complexities of their time.
Lessons Learnt :
- Our Needs are Universal – When crisis strikes , the most important things to survive are the basic needs of a human being -Food, clothing ,shelter, and it applies universally to everyone in the world.
- Our Emotions are Universal – When someone dies or at a personal loss , emotions felt, experience of fear, distress and hurt applies universally to everyone in the world
- Uniqueness of Grief – Grief is universal, felt by all , yet unique how one takes it ,varies with people and culture
- Beliefs’ – our belief system plays a key role in how we manage crisis
- Resilience is not built by experiencing grief and loss , but is built by the way one responds to it
- Resilience is deep rooted in our belief system , therefore not everyone is equally resilient
- Change & flexibility are here to stay – Change is the only normal , and best way to approach it is to stay flexible , embrace it as much as one can , those who may prefer rigidity ,resisting change are setting themselves up for more & major complexities and challenges.
It was 4: 55 am ,13th May 2021, when my father after his funeral prayers ,was been taken to the graveyard , while around me everyone was crying,
I stood silently with a prayer , watching him on people’s shoulders high up, stood there till he was no longer visible ,bid him farewell & prepared my mind to accept the truth I had often struggled with , and then I happened to see the sky above , slowly getting illuminated with first rays of sunshine ,
this experience taught me ;
“,It was an end of my father’s life journey ,while a new morning awaited for many several new journeys to begin “……Mehnaz Amjad, Grief Coach
Back to the present
I begin this New Year in the name of Almighty, hoping ,praying for all good for everyone ,moving ahead with my lessons learnt ,memories cherished with my father ,aunt and uncle respectively, submitting myself to the will of God, with absolute humility and reverence accepting the new normal and intending to be more flexible to keep adjusting to the changing pace of the new times!
(c)Mehnaz Amjad 2021