Sandra and her proxy war

woman holding mirror against her head in the middle of forest

Meet Sandra, in her early 20’s there was a time in her life , where she would constantly share ,suggest ,comment and try to react to every feed that went through her eyes. Sandra ,never thought , she had so much inside her to share and react to.

But this weird habit, eventually brought in lot of stress to her , because all she wanted was a similar reaction to what she was experiencing ; the movies she enjoyed , she wanted the whole world to enjoy and watch or the drama series , she was deeply moved by , she wanted the whole world to be moved by it ,or the books she read, she wanted the world to equally read and get precisely the same message as she has learnt.

Sandra, felt ,there was something terribly wrong, nothing was working in sync with her wants, because none of what she sought and wanted actually happened.

Often times, no one bothered to read ,nor reply or even pay attention to what she wrote, criticize, suggested or recommended .

This irked her more and more , and as a stubborn individual, she stayed more glued to the social media , waiting for notifications of her need to pop up, which rarely came in.

It went so far ,that her equations with her friends ,acquaintance and cousins , everything underwent a change , and were now based on the way they reacted or treated what she has shared on the social media.

This mounted up stress in her life, because of the responses she never received .

Considering herself a rejection , a failure , she began to live a life of a recluse , with a constant proxy war in her head with everyone around her — , A war , no one was aware of , except her !

If you resonate even with one tiny part of this crazy story and behavior , make a note of the following ;

  • When we fail to be self aware, is when we equally fail to read the world around us in the right manner
  • An unaware mind is always caught up in a proxy war of faulty assumptions and beliefs
  • The less self aware we are , the more and more delusional we become ,in approach and in mindset, leading to negative thinking and tons of accumulated stress on the nervous system.

Few of the most manifested signs, of an unaware self are

  1. Constantly coveting and comparing
  2. Living in an oblivious world, unaware of what one is trying to achieve
  3. Heedless and directionless
  4. Demonstrating behaviors that need correction
  5. Confused and stuck in life

Looking at our own self with objectivity , requires assistance from a neutral third party , and there is no substitute of it .

Mehnaz Amjad, Coach

Sandra, who we just got a sneak peak into her unaware self, is a working professional of a tech giant ,in a capacity of a team leader .

Her unaware self brought her many miseries , including her social media episode of feed and feedback . Her personal and professional life continued to suffer , she felt stuck , and struggled to understand the root cause of the troubles she was in.

Sandra’s case reminded me , of a phase of my life when , through the assistance of my coach, I was able to find peace, and put to rest the many demons I was in an ongoing war with, for many years.

I assisted Sandra both with my expertise and experience , which help her find her direction in life.

Self awareness cannot be achieved only through our SELF.

From time to time , we all need someone to hold the mirror for us.

(c)Mehnaz Amjad 2022

About the AuthorMehnaz Amjad is a Certified Life Coach | Website |91 9849 500 557

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