I’ve decided, I asked Jeremy to repeat after me.
Jeremy has been going back and forth about a decision, which he could not muster the courage to make, the repercussions of constant stress showed up, and the consequences worsened but Jeremy was way too fearful to take that one step ahead.
A decision is a choice or judgment that you make after thinking about various possibilities
The choice is key here.
Because when the choice prevails, it automatically collapses the rest of all other options, bringing an end to it.
and thus, when we are attached to any of the options given, other than the choice we have made, this is what makes it more and more difficult to decide!
The story …
Jeremy’s decision to choose to stay back in a role and organization, he had served for 15 years, which had been an integral part of his both personal and professional life, brought him into a chaotic state of mind.
The choice of staying back, automatically bring in closure to the dream role, he had always wanted to work in, which was knocking at the door, staying put silently, waiting for him to simply accept and allow to embrace it completely.
The present job had nothing in general, that would make Jeremy’s decision easy, on the contrary, the warmth, the meaningful connections, and the professional growth at his present organization had been phenomenal with several positive success stories to its credit and reminisce.
As a result
Jeremy was in a dilemma, confused and constantly on an evaluation streak, analyzing options one vs the other.
Something to make a note of
Even though we all detest negative aspects of life, sometimes an absence of all negativities in a given sphere of life, can equally bring in more stress and burnout in deciding than having one.
Caught up in the dilemma of all good, in our coaching assignment, we did the following:
- Know your values – Values are things that matter to us the most in life, in the case of Jeremy’ when he became aware of his top seven values that were driving him, it made it a lot easier to choose from all good options that synced most with his present values than mere positive experiences.
- Evaluate the opposites – A method in which, when both options hold good, then one can evaluate the threats and risks in each,and choose the one with the least of negative outcomes.
- Commitment – An approach when a decision is made with conviction and not a resolution or any other. In Jeremy’s case I asked him to write as he decided; and to begin it with an “I” statement, “I’ve decided ………………………… and close it with the decision.
A combination of all the above three options, followed by an in-depth conversation, arriving at a PoV -point of view, something I’ve adapted from my consulting experience, was able to assist Jeremy to make that decision.
In the words of Shane Parrish the author of Mental Models.
Second-order thinking is thinking farther ahead and thinking holistically. It requires us to not only consider our actions and their immediate consequences, but the subsequent effects of those actions as well. Failing to consider the second- and third-order effects can unleash disaster.
If you want to learn more , watch how just like Jeremy, Ratan found his way of his indecisiveness
(c) Mehnaz Amjad 2023