As a dreamy-eyed person, there are and were many moments in my life filled with dreams and stories that I keep repeating to myself, which sometimes is good but oftentimes makes me evade and escape my present difficult times, an approach that does more harm than good.
It took me some really deep work with not one, but two different coaches, I had invested time and monies with to overcome, this incorrect approach.
So, what’s the incorrect approach?
Let’s understand from a Neuroscience’s point of view!
To dream is not bad, but to stay stuck in a dreamy state to escape realities, is our brain attempting to protect us from any possible danger, as a result we chose comfort over the discomfort, because the brain is protecting mechanism is driven by what we have fed our subconscious mind with and it is thus, just doing what it is fed and programmed to do.
in my case the danger was the discomfort of confronting reality.
Also, not everyone may indulge in dreaming like me.
- Emotional eating
- watching porn,
- shopping unnecessary (but calling it retail therapy),
- substance abuse (Drugs)
- binge-watching TV, and
- constantly being on social media platforms, are some similar examples of escaping reality, to avoid problems.
So, what’s the solution.
After several research studies being conducted, the researchers suggest the following.
- To correct our incorrect coping mechanism, we need to pay attention to what we feed our mind with
- Our subconscious mind cannot differentiate between the right and wrong.
- What we feed the subconscious mind with, is what it throws up as a result or react to keep us safe and protected
- Confronting difficulties head-on have been considered the most effective way to problem solving.
- We need to use our conscious mind to train our subconscious mind in adapting the correct approach.
In continuation of my work and search for the right approach, here’s a method that assisted me find a way out, and I’m sure, the call to action cited in it can help you too.
To listen to it click here.
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(c) Mehnaz Amjad 2017- 2023
About the Author: Mehnaz Amjad is a Coach, Trauma Healer & CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapist), and the Founder of Guide & Advice which offers Coaching to both individuals and organizations. You can Connect with me.