I always had the habit of sharing my tiny wins with my father.
So once after an excellent coach call that lasted for a few hours with a client, we made a major breakthrough and I was extremely delighted with the outcomes, so was my client.
After the close of the call, I ran to share it with my father, only to realize a few seconds later that my Father has passed on to the mercy of God, that too almost 2 years ago
This sudden realization of his absence shifted my energy levels drastically,
Like a child, I wept profusely as the reality sank in deep.
I felt as if nothing holds any relevance any longer.
Grief is one such emotion,
which can envelop us at any time, a trivial trigger is enough for it to rise, and take charge of our emotional brain, cascading a plethora of thoughts, emotions, and memories.
eventually leading to a completely new behavior one may exhibit or a need one may want to fulfill.
For example –
If you ever find yourself reaching out for that high-carb unhealthy snack, chocolate or ice-cream, remember it’s the brain’s neural circuits seeking comfort,
If you find yourself unnecessarily being agitated on petty trivial issues, it’s the subconscious brain’s way of seeking acknowledgment and acceptance, which one may have been deprived of for years.
Grief here is playing a role of a catalyst driving your emotions and influencing new behavior’s.
What Grief did to me?
In my case, I suddenly became detached from my business, work, and its outcomes, I no longer cared if I received a response or a liking to my content, something which had always kept me deeply emotional about my work and client.
I was in a non-reactive neutral zone.
I just wanted to delete all accounts and call it quits!
Grief has the power to make you either too strong or simply too indifferent.
My Coach came into my rescue and supported me in having a perspective, when I find myself reeling under the weight of complicated unexplained emotions.
I was NOW more focused on delivering value with the slightest attachment to the outcomes.
It turns out, that I ended up landing more and more clientele filling my roster, to the extent that a point came where I had to rework my schedule to accommodate and also serve the existing ones.
This was the first time, I felt overwhelmed not because of a lack of enough clients, but because of the sheer high number I had to deal with meticulously.
Post Traumatic Growth
When we encounter success after a major loss, it is called post-traumatic growth, it is a very healthy and positive way to rebound after grief and loss, but it requires effort to get here, it’s a combination of a shift in perspective and approach, along with actionable work, which only comes from the support of a Coach and is not achieved merely by reading some self-help books or practicing psychology tools.
In my case, when I started my entrepreneur journey, my father’s ill health and as his care giver took a heavy toll on my coaching business, which now with change in my approach, was throwing 5X more income than anticipated.
Nothing in this world, could ever replace my father’s absence, a very generous and a kind soul that he was, his loss gave me profound lessons in wisdom, paving way for new mindset and approach, and I shall remain indebted for this legacy.
Grief at a deeper level.
This is not often explained, and hence after love and anger, grief remains a very misunderstood emotion.
Let’s understand Grief a bit more.
Grief makes a unique emotion on account of the following.
- Grief is a complex emotion and very individual, meaning we all process it in our own unique way, and thus there is no universal approach applied to heal from it.
- Grief stays in our body and mind, with varying intensity, depending on how we learn to embrace it, sometimes it can also last for a lifetime!
- Grief also causes us to move into a stressful mode, impacting the nervous system that connects each and every part of our being.
- Prolonged non-processing of Grief can lead to complicated emotions, and it can impact both our physical and mental health.
- To heal from Grief requires not only understanding of it, in its unique nature, but to get into actionable steps with support of a life coach or a trauma-informed coach to heal.
If you really want to understand
- what’s beneath those unexplained emotions,
- That distress that keeps you stuck
- The fears that grip you.
- The frustration about petty issues
- Unexplained anger with people and life in general
- uncertainty that frustrates.
and intend to heal your grief, connect and get coached.
Help is just a click away.
c) Mehnaz Amjad – 2017 -2023
About the Author ; Mehnaz Amjad, is a Life Coach and a Cognitive Behavior Therapist,
I’m on a mission to empower people with strategies and tools, they need to cope with difficult times & navigate through challenging circumstances.
If you are in search of help to find a way out of your crisis, click to connect.