When My Life changed in the blink of an eye…
It was a simple phone call on a busy day at my office, informing me about my aunt who was unwell, I reached home a bit late completely oblivious to the situation at the hospital, that has gone worse in a matter of hours and by the time I could make sense of what was going around me, we lost her!
After making the payments at the billing counter which was located in the next building, I could not find the strength in my limbs, to go back and watch her body being taken back home.
I made several excuses to myself and stayed there and only came out when her body reached the home.
She held a significant part of my life, passed away, all of a sudden, and I was left behind, all alone trying to come to terms with the loss. Even several years later as I write this, I still cannot comprehend what I went through that dreadful day.
Later next week…
The next week , My Senior Project Lead, gave me a generous two-month notice, but fired me on the SPOT from the job, for no valid reason, this was for a project which took me two years of toil and hard work to launch, ironically ,everything related to that project was a super success EXCEPT my job.
Corporate politics and its challenges for a naive non-political person like me is a topic for some other time.
From being a star performer, to a humiliating exit, made my body and mind stressed beyond capacity and numb, I felt nothing, and by now had given up the idea to fight back . After the sudden announcement of being fired , I silently rose from my chair, went down to the cafeteria, and sat there, again trying to make sense of what just happened.
A deep sense of shame enveloped me while I sat in the cafeteria, and people around me made me feel as if everyone is laughing at me, at my failures, at this moment all I wanted was to cover myself and run away as far as I could so that no one knows who I’m and What I did.
But did I actually do something that I should feel and behave this way?
An answer to this question that haunted me for years was found in my deep work with my life coach.
What happened next …
My world changed drastically, my perspective shifted from being a confident expert ,to a person of deep shame and self-doubt, it reflected in my body language, appearance, and mental and physical health. I suffered from bouts of vertigo and anxiety.
My approach became ,that of a needy human being, desperately seeking appeasement, and acceptance and I eventually turned into a people pleaser. It took me several years to even find my next employment because I lacked the confidence and clarity of what I wanted to do next.
Life can be at times brutally cruel, throwing curve balls, and pushing us to a point where we find ourselves robbed of our most precious element, which is to believe in ourselves, cascading down to all other domains of our life ,from health to relationships to our very own self ,all at the same time.
This runs deep and eventually may lead to the following behaviors ;
- Feeling confused
- Indecisive, or going back and forth, second guessing almost all our choices
- Lacking confidence and certainty
- Don’t know what to do next
- Operating out of fear and self-doubt
- Being needy and desperate in seeking things
- Feeling stressed and overwhelmed
My Pivotal Moment …..
It was a bright sunny day in March, when I took the first step toward my success, by investing a good chunk of my savings and decided to invest in Life Coaching for myself, which changed my life forever.
This was coincidentally the first time ever, I had prioritized myself above everything and valued myself, which I seldom did in the past , and it was ONLY when things changed for the better.
When I realized the immense treasure trove of potential I held, encompassing my expertise and my post-traumatic growth experience, I decided to embark on a journey with a mission to assist and serve as many as I could, in similar situations and seek similar results through life coaching .
#lifecoaching #wellness #mentalhealth #coach #resilience
If you find yourself, looking for clarity and direction, especially when you find yourself caught up unprepared by a sudden change of events or setbacks, this is one place you can reach out to
(c) Mehnaz Amjad – 2017 -2023
About the Author ; Mehnaz Amjad, is a Life Coach and a Cognitive Behavior Therapist,
I’m on a mission to empower people with strategies and tools, they need to cope with difficult times & navigate through challenging circumstances.
If you are in search of help, click to connect.